tell your sister to shave her snatch
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
