Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
