Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(708): View more from Illinois

it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn

Fav 5 1238 1501
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(917): View more from New York City

i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab

Fav 8 3261 1028
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(828): View more from North Carolina

you will always have a special place in my vag

Fav 23 6111 1515
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

At least he's a nutritious stoner...

Fav 18 8733 1588
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(510): View more from California

He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?

Fav 1 1941 997
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up

Fav 4 894 1164
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(517): View more from Michigan

Here's my first problem: I'm drunk

Fav 13 2376 877
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(626): View more from California

If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.

(1-626): View more from California

all $38?

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(313): View more from Michigan

My orgasm happened in two different decades

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