I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Randomize
