singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
