I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
