I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
