i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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