I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
