i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
