If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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