i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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