Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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