You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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