Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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