lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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