Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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