I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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