it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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