so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize