How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
