he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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