My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
