Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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