at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
