Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
