How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
