that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
