When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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