he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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