ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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