i was rollin on her like bob the builder
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
