Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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