I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
