Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
