Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
