Cold hands, warm shart.
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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