Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
