I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
