Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
