they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
