I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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