my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
