im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
