Can i not drive my cunt home
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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