this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
