Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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