went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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