i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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