No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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