I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
